Sunday, November 8, 2009

weekend

twenty-four hours with brigitte

*free slurpees
*barkly park
*pretend party
*talking to the neighbours
*gossip girl
*stalking ludo ? 'he's quite a looker' 'yeah' 'let's follow him' 'haha' 'no seriously, come on!'
*park near the gelati bar
*'it's a dog' it's a cat!!' 'it's seriously a piglike dog' 'a pug?' 'no! just a little dog' -random guy yells- 'it's a fucking cat!!!'
*gelati
*-one car honks at us- -next car yells 'sluts!'
*hannah montanna movie - 'tell me what happens when ...' 'never mind'
*teddy bears and care bears
*getting ready
*gross chromer guys oh goddddd 'i think i'm going to throw up. oh god i just gagged' -brigitte tries to talk more about them- 'stop i'm actually going to throw up!!!'
*'you know how we're always like 'if someone tried to rape me, wouldn't you just let them?'' 'yeah?' 'well could you really let them rape you O.O' 'naah i'd probably just stab them'
*trying to go to south melbourne beach and ending up at st kilda beach
*fucking jellyfish :|
*guys trying to impress us by splashing us heaps and then asking us to come with them...
*park and maccas cokeee
*shopping
*somehow going to luna park
*'what if i pee on the ride?' 'yeah and we get off and we're covered in urine'
*freaky ride 'look out the side!!!' 'NO!' 'seriously!' 'FUCKING HELL NO'
*-gets off ride- 'i'm all wet...did i pee?' 'eughhh sweat and pee'
*random guys: come give me head brigitte: yes come here and i will give all of you head at the same time :|
*-gets on tram- 'where are we...'

aaah i love you so much <3

Sunday, October 25, 2009

silly.

there's a sense of fear,
a sense of despair.
it's all around you,
it's in the air.
you look around,
friend to friend,
but it's not them,
it's in your head.
nobody notices,
when you slip out of the light,
and sneak down the hall,
overwhelmed with fright.
you're weaving through,
the busy crowd.
their voices in your ear,
it's incredibly loud.
out of sight, out of mind.
the obstacles unseen.
i fall onto my knees,
in a reoccurring dream.

hm...

I actually really miss the country.
Or maybe I miss being a little kid, for me the two are so closely linked I don't really know which one I liked.
I love the memories I have there, even the upsetting ones.
Running around with puppy-version of Seamus, making slides in barns, swimming in lakes, running away from freaky chickens, naming the wombats that used to live in my backyard, riding horses, collecting kindling for the fire, anticipating the arrival of my dad and sister coming home from work and school, playing in the sandpit, catching the school bus, playing in the most elaborate tree houses and cubby houses, climbing massive hills, making a happy-hat, reading in cupboards, adoring my duck Charlotte, crying when Charlotte got eaten D:, Darcy, Xylis, Charlie, Charlotte, Seamus, Poppy, Sunflower, Duchess, *insert names of chickens I don't remember anymore*, boots, ripped jeans.
:)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

banking on a myth.

I dreamed you were mine
Once upon a time
It didn't come true
It never comes true
I dreamed there was blood
Your fist in my face
It didn't come true
It never comes true
I dreamed there was laughter
I dreamed there was fun
I dreamed there was heat
I dreamed there was sun
I made a wish
I dreamed in the day
I looked at your face
Now how can they say...?
I think you may be real
I think you may be fake
But I dreamed and I wished
Asleep and Awake

the naming of things

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Monday, September 7, 2009

Thursday, August 6, 2009

measuring cups

I find it really hard to hate anyone, or even dislike anyone. I don't know... It's like... Whatever bad thing anyone does, no one can say they've never done something 'bad.' No one can say they've never bitched about anyone, every single person I know does/has/and will continue to do so. But fuck it, seriously. People spend too much time crying and complaining because whoever said whatever behind their back. Grow up.
I'm always finding myself justifying every bad thing someone does. If I can't even understand myself, I shouldn't act like I understand another person. I don't. No one tells anyone everything, and everyone has bad things in their life.
I'm sick of caring, I mean I won't ever be able to stop caring, but whatever. One of my friends found out that her best friend had been telling other people things, but she didn't care. She's mature enough to understand everyone does it. And if your sick of people telling other people your secrets, then stop telling them in the first place. People are just finding things to complain about, when really they don't have to. Before you start bitching about someone bitching about you, think about what you said about your friend the other day. It's just something people do. If I say something about someone, it doesn't mean I don't like them. I'm just getting it out of my system. Everyone has flaws. I understand I have like 1000000 million things wrong with me, feel free to talk about them. I'm pretty sure your still going to love me if your truly my friend.
I'm not saying tell people my secrets. Everyone should have someone they can trust. But that applies to things that matter.
Okay, rant over.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

fake palindromes

I'm re-reading Alice in Wonderland for the...third time I think?
I love this book so much...
I'm excited for the Tim Burton movieee, yay!

And also,
Harry Potter is amazing.

pondering the past.

I feel so alone,
I don't know what to do,
I feel so unhappy,
Because of you.
I pretend to be normal,
I pretend to feel right,
But I'm in a constant battle,
And I'm losing the fight.
But that isn't the end,
Oh there's so much more,
From me to a friend,
You're the one I adore.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

whisper.

from one to another,
like a chain,
they alight.
feeding on each other,
always alone,
shining bright.
their fate is written,
they don't have long,
they flaunt their pride,
pretending they are strong.
the first one fades,
and ready or not,
there is nowhere to hide.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

it's smile time

Guess who got sick?
But no, it's not swine flu :O
To quote Mary, 'If I got swine flu, I would probably just be laughing about it the whole time.'
But no, it's just tonsillitis.
What a fantastic way to finish the holidays! Although Angel Season Two and Buffy Season One are here to keep me company...Thank you Groovin :D
I realized today that I haven't done my science project that's due in two weeks and needs three or four weeks to be completed. I'm still thinking of an excuse I could use. Teddy did eat his own bed, maybe I could get him to eat my homework?

lately

'Carve your name into my arms,
Cause I long to feel your name blood red.

Leave our love life at the door,
What's in store?
We don't know just yet,
And that is why when we get together,
There's no need to be clever.

Lightning struck at eleven same as last night,
We talk deeper than weather,
Baseball cap with a feather,
Fire engine's here to quell the blaze in our life.

Sidestep neighbours full of lust,
Good times rust,
And the runaway's best.

And when the love detector finds a spark,
It's before dark when we couldn't care less,
And that is why when we get together,
There's no need to be clever.

Lightning struck at eleven same as last night,
We talk deeper than weather,
Baseball cap with a feather,
Fire engine's here to quell the blaze in our life.'

Monday, July 6, 2009

dedication.

lamee

'I don’t think there was ever a moment where I didn’t think my boyfriend, Nicholas, wasn’t perfect. I looked at the phone, contemplating ringing him and telling him how I felt. But I decided against it. Although he knew about the fighting, it never felt easier to talk to anyone about it. It was embarrassing; there was no other way to put it. I knew my friends felt uncomfortable in my house, though they’d never tell me it to my face. I sighed. A memory flashed into my mind. It was from a few months ago. Nick and I were sitting in my bed. My head was cupped in his hands. His big grey eyes seemed intent on scrutinizing me. I laughed.
“What?” He questioned seriously.
“Your face… It always looks like your studying me.”
“I am.”
“I know…” I looked down.
“Does it make you feel awkward?” He said, his face wrinkling in worry.
I didn’t answer, but instead kissed him slowly on his lips, broken and dry from the inevitable dehydration the new summer gave.
“I… love you.” He said and pulled back.
My eyes widened. It was never something either of us had vocalized, although somehow it seemed as if we both knew.
“I love you too.”'

'I looked out the window. I could see what the lack of rain had left: Dry grass, hungry animals.
Old cars were littered over the fields. Cheap cars we’ve had. Cheap cars we didn’t have enough money to get fixed.'

'The heavy rain struck against the tin roof above the classroom.
The sound reminded Violet of tap dancing. It was some what familiar, this sound. She knew that there was a memory, somewhere, of something occurring in the rain. Violet knew that this faint memory was significant, but she couldn’t quite untangle the blurred memory that played in her mind.'

'Looking out onto the ocean, Violet noticed something different. Instead of looking its usual stunning self, the beach looked dark. Like something had dampened its mood. It wasn’t as if the light was dark, no, it was something in the air.
She walked out, took her shoes off, and waded in the water. The waves crashed against the jagged rocks and suddenly Violet felt scared. She looked around and realized no one else was on the beach. It was just her and the cold. Violet froze. She felt a hand on her shoulder. Her piercing scream echoed over the beach.'

'With a grim look upon her face, Ally woke up early. She looked at her clock: It was 5.00am. She sighed and lay back down, but sleep didn’t come easy. She tossed and turned but never did get back to sleep. She was still haunted by the nightmare she had just had experienced.
In the dream Ally was standing back at PebbleBay. She was looking out at the waves when suddenly they pulled her into the water. She was being swallowed up, frozen by fear. She tried to swim away but she couldn’t move.
Ally shuddered, remembering the dream.'

'My dreams were always the same, a replay of that same night, over and over. Sunday was no different.
“Amanda?” a voice said in a sickly sweet way. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
I looked around my bedroom. In the reflection of my mirror I saw a pale faced 16-year-old. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her eyes were wide with panic. I looked down at my body. The images didn’t coincide. My body was of a 14-year-old’s. My school uniform was slightly too short and my socks were falling down. But why was I thinking these things?
I scrambled under the bed just as the footsteps sounded close.
“Amanda James! This is getting ridiculous. Where are you?”
My heartbeat hit against my chest, so hard it was almost painful. I put my hands to my quivering lips, attempting to stop the heavy breathing that was so hard to muffle. Slowly I could hear him bend down to the floor. His face next to mine, he said, “It’s time.”'

DUN DUN DUN
and i never finished any of them .

happy face

'When everything is wrong I'll come talk to you
You make things alright when I'm feeling blue

You are such a blessing and I wont be messing
with the one thing that brings light to all my darkness

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

There is no other one who can take your place
I feel happy inside when I see your face
I hope you believe me
'Cause I speak sincerely
and I mean it when I tell you that I need you

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

I'm here right beside you
I will never leave you
and I feel the pain you feel when you start crying

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do
Yes I do...
Yes I do'

connal hayes

I think that everyone who doesn't know this girl should get to know her.
She is seriously amazing.
Have you ever stared into her eyes? Well do it, because you'll immediately fall in love with her.
She's beautiful and hilarious and completely insane.
I've only known her for a few years, and we've had heaps of fights and hated each other numerous times but I know we'll always be best friends (woo cliched line.)
I can completely trust her, and I love her with all my heart :)

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modeling game, singstar, barbies, polly pockets, brunswick street, red tun-goo, blythes, robio, sleepovers, footy, dog birthdays and deathdays, canberra, being poor together, having similar problems, 'confiding in each other,' boyfs, pretending to be each other, paper msn, ALL THE GOOD TIMES WITH INDIA, our little books about making out and killing each other, making out with each other in real life, buzz, fighting about stupid things, being creative :O, year seven camp, crazy sleepovers with other people like brigitte, our first sleepover that i actually remember, always seeing our hair changed together, the clothes wearing game at target, the supermarket game, 'GO TO BED,' 'TOUCH THE CRANK,' *makes out* 'Isn't it a bit weird that we always make out?' ....'Nuhh,' Alec and Moulay emails ;D, being rebels, +1000000 other things.

I love love love love you Connal Elizabeth Hayes.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

so you think you can daaance

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i love you degas...
marry me?

mx missiles.

the dreamer dreams a woeful dream
she dreams, longing for her past
no one can tell how much she misses
those friendships that never last

stirring, waking, never still
thinking, wishing, fading
unaware of how she is seen
and how i judge her woeful dream

(untitled)

I'm loling at how schools were closed down because of swine flu for a bit. And then a few weeks later, pretty much everyone has it.
Holidays!
One week down, one week to go.
I never do what I plan to on the holidays. I never finish my 'holiday projects.' I just sleep for hours and see friends and watch too much TV.
I need to read more.
I also need to draw more.
I need to see Sadie...
I've gotten back into Regina Spektor recently, thanks boyfff.
I really have nothing interesting or smart to say.

Friday, May 29, 2009

tables and chairs

I'm so incredibly tired.
I've probably got swine flu. Score!
I'm waiting for Princes Hill to get infected so we can all chillax at home. But why are they waiting until people actually have it? Shouldn't we be quarantined before that so more people don't get infected? Hmm.
On Monday I'm having seven teeth pulled out. I'm a scared little Panda.
There's pretty much no point of this blog, nothing new to report. Or 'noth new 2 rep.' as Stacey from the Baby Sitters Club would say.
Aww yeah. Catch!

Monday, April 13, 2009

masterfade

Hello There!
I've finally gotten around to putting these pictures on the computer.

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Yes, we are posing in front of a webcam. I walked into my parents room to find my Mooma sitting there exclaiming 'Wow, I'm so beautiful!'
So, obviously, I joined her :D And soon Sadie too... Oh, and Teddy, our puppy, but none of those photos were blog material.

Easter was okay. I spent it at a family friend's farm, surrounded by dogs, toddlers and adults. I took a nap in the car for an hour, which was nice.
I've been thinking about sexual euphemisms (classic) and adults. I swear, it seems as though people always use them but nobody over the age of 20 comments on it. Do you lose your ability to comically shout 'That's what she said!' as your maturity levels? Because if it does, I don't think I want to grow up Peter Pan.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

skin is, my

I have decided to start my first blog, with my favourite poem. Party because I'm not sure how to start, and partly because it's a beautiful poem... So why not?

"Do
not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!"

Mary Frye, 1932